As distracting as a condom, and as necessary

In the flip of a switch, my mom became pregnant with me

and yet I never realized it was that easy

even when I started to have sex.

A condom is distracting

and in fact, it’s often easier to pretend the thing

doesn’t exist,

doesn’t need to.

Sex is a simple thing,

and even though I was never one to worry over it excessively

I didn’t think it would be as easy

as I eventually discovered it was.

I still don’t know how to put on a condom

and I suppose it’s luck that has never required me to learn.

But I’m stuck on this declaration:

“a condom is distracting”

Struggling to overcome the suffocating strength of

natural instinct to pull closer and grip tighter

I never imagined that sometimes your body

could be telling you something that is so definitely wrong

that you don’t want to do what it tells you

that you must fight if you want to be free.

My own thoughts feel broken when we pull apart

to be quickly distracted,

and sometimes I’d rather take the risk

if only to keep my mind enticingly fluid

for just a few moments longer.

But I suppose I should never forget that

in the blink of an eye I was created

and only because my parents are human

and spontaneously chose to

entertain the feeling of the moment.