Jersey shore.

Who'd have ever thought that jersey shore would ever be the inspiration for me to write something on this beautiful little blog?

Wll it happened.

This jersey shore post is about vinny, and why he decided to leave the house.

I think it was a wise decision, personally. Apparently he had issues with anxiety and depression,and though I don't completely follow him in the depression areas, I completely understand the areas with anxiety. And anxiety attacks. Because I have had issues with anxiety in the past,andi have had my fair share of panic/anxiety attacks.

And I must say, panic attacks are one of the worst things in the world. Yu just feel helpless' scared, like nothing anyone says or does will be able to make you feel better.

Nw I don't know what it was that triggered vinnys problems, but I know what my biggest fears were and the biggest thing I struggled with coping with was my irrational fear of throwing up. Irrational, and I know now that it was irrational, and ikew then that it was irrational. And it was the absolute worst feeling in the world to know that I s being troubled, having such a problem with something that no one else seemed to have such problems with. I felt weird, stupid, helpless. Because no matter where I was, no matter what time of day or night it was, I always seemed to have these problems, the feeling too hot, the nausea, the headaches, anything that could be labeled as a du ton for the stomach flu, or some sort of stomach virus, I seemed to inherit it any time of any day.

I think the very worst part of it was the fact that it made me feel so helpless. It's weird to say I know, but I always felt like my fate, the fate f whether or not I was going to throw up, rested in the hands of god. He was the one who would decided whether or not to torture me by making me actually heave forth something I had previously eaten. And I found myself begging m, pleading for him to protect me and keep me well.

It didn't seem to work. N, I never threw up, but I always seemed to feel sick. I nvere really felt quite right.

I tried everything, EVERYTHING to try and cure myself of this disease, this awful feeling of
panic I had at all times. And nothing seemed to work for me. I tried to reason with myself, tried to have my mo talk to me, we went to doctors to see if it actually was something wrong wi my stomach that made me feel awful all the time. But nothing worked.

You know what did work? Growing up. It freed me. Somehow, when I stopped thinking about it, the throwing up fear just snuck away from me. I don't know how, why, when, but I'm grateful its gone.

I wouldn't wish panic attacks on my worst enemy. They're awful, it's your own mind playing tricks an torturing you, just like in the saw movies. And it's al, too real because your mind knows all of the thing that plague you. But I'm really grateful it happened, because I wouldn't be the person I am today without these experiences behind me.

And so I completely sympathize with vinny. Panic attacks are the scariest thing out there, and I credit him for trying so hard to stick with it, with staying in his normal life as long. He could before he had to go home. Ad I know that, just like me, he will get past it.

Panic never wins, As long as you never let it.