I've always liked to pretend I am an incredibly independent person. It's a wonderful idea to flirt with, to sit alone in a secluded area and think I am here and I am by myself and I am happy. 

And sometimes that is nothing but exactly completely true. Sometimes all I want to do is walk outside and sit down on grass greener than my eyes and stare at a rippling pool of water and wonder how long I can enjoy the scenery before my mind will start to wander.

There really isn't much more beautiful than a small stream, at least I have never believed so. There is so much life, so many things that are small and insignificant and....independent. It isn't difficult to be a small bug or a fish or a frog and to wake up in the morning with only the thought of one's own selfish needs.

How do I know when I am happy? Because the type of person I am is not synonymous with the type of person I would like to be. And I know that the most important thing in my life, and especially at this point in my life, is to love myself for who I am. But how am I supposed to do that when I don't really believe I know myself? Everything I say seems to be to please others. I want people to like me, and it is more difficult to be honest than it is to make friends. I do not lie specifically to people, I am not the type of person who paints myself in a different light in order to make myself seem more appealing. But instead, i am confused as to when I hear myself speaking and when i feel the words leaving.

When I was younger, I wasn't sure about other people, but I know that I was sure about myself.