Day 8- Things that make you sad.

Oh, a lot of things make me sad. Thinking about losing my family, or even losing my dog. I can be reduced to tears when I think about losing my dog. Because I can't imagine life without him, either of them actually. And losing my mom. Well, that is just out of the question. I don't know how I would survive, losing her. She is the only one I can really go to when I'm scared, when I feel sad, or vulnerable. She is the only one I miss the very most when  I'm away from home. And, I don't know how I'm going to make it through college without her. I can't imagine ever losing her someday. Because I will miss her like crazy. (Amanda, if somehow you are reading this, I think you are soso strong. You lost your mom, something I can never even imagine going through. And yet you always manage to have a smile. You're going through a lot of the same crap I am, boys, school, swimming, and you're doing it without a mom. So lemme just say, this post made me think of you, and I respect you so much for everything you went through, and everything you do for your mom.) Watching sad movies makes me sad. I didn't used to get sad during movies, but now I am a lot more sensitive, and I don’t really know why. Especially in My Sister's Keeper. I watched that recently, and honestly, I couldn't keep the tears from flowing. And even after the movie was over, I still cried. I couldn't stop. But I don't regret watching that movie. It was really good, and it made me think. Um, thinking about how different things are to me since I've gotten older is pretty sad.  I still have moments like, laughing until my stomach hurts, or moments of awe and wonder at the wall, but it's much more difficult to get those moments. Life used to be soso simple, and now it's completely crazy. My family makes me sad. Not that I don't like my family, but when I was little, it was so much easier to think that they were perfect. I don't like that I can see the flaws of my family so easy now. I don't like that people are all of a sudden expecting me to be perfect. It was so easy to be a little kid. And now, all of a sudden, it's not. I can't make mistakes, or else I get yelled at. It's tough being a teenager, and I don't like how no adults seem to understand that. Lastly, swimming makes me sad. It's hard, and I honestly cannot think of what I'm good at. Ims? Maybe. Long course? Who actually knows? I just don't know what I'm good at, and that worries me and kind of makes me sad.