Paris

Oh.
i miss it so much that sometimes i see a picture of it, and i have to stop. I can't breathe for a second, and i close my eyes, and all i see is beautiful, gorgeous, Paris. And i feel like all i want is to be there. To open my eyes, and see that i'm not at home amongst all of this CRAP that i have to deal with on a daily basis. That I'm there. There, again, where i was at my happiest, but still distracted. I just want to be there. It doesn't matter who i'm with, as long as i am there long enough to take a breath and feel the city creep into my veins.

It's so classy. Everything about it, made me feel like i was finally in a place where i could always be content. Where everyone was polite, and God i was just happy there. And thinking about it, the cheese shops, the metro, the buses, the Louvre, the paintings, the fresh food at the markets, Luxembourg Gardens, what i could wear, what everyone else was wearing, how everyone greeted you, the landmarks woven into the normal city life, the beauty, the clean cabs, the travel destinations, the snow, the air, the fresh feeling of being in a new place,  it just made me want to go back.

And now i don't know what's going to happen. Who am i going to go back with? Will anyone be able to go with me? Who knows. All i know is that going back this summer, won't, can't be the end. I love it so much, and i really want to experience it. Every month of the year. I want to live there, i want to have time to myself, live for me. Make my own meals, go shopping on my own, live through my feelings. When i feel like sleeping, i'll sleep. When i feel like walking, i'll walk. God i loved it so much, and i just want to be back.